We went to a beautiful wedding on Thursday and had the great pleasure of sharing with our friends as they married off their son. These are people who are constantly teaching me about parenting by example.
And their wedding was certainly another example of how they parent and connect with their children. Escorted to the Chuppah by his parents, Dovid stood straight and tall and davened. Now, this is a very common practice in our circles. The groom, awaiting the biggest moment of his life, connects with Hashem for a few moments and tries to focus.
What was less common was watching his mother. Ruti, standing on Dovid’s side and looking directly at him, wasn’t adjusting her hat or smoothing out her clothing. She wasn’t checking out the audience and smiling at friendly faces; she wasn’t making sure that the last minute preparations were all in place. No, Ruti was standing directly facing her son and was wordlessly and motionlessly staring at him. She wasn’t trying to get into his space; she wasn’t speaking to him; she was simply standing there, looking right at him and smiling.
Someone leaned over to me and said, “What are they doing? Are they posing for pictures?”
To which I said, “No, you’re missing it. No pictures. Ruti is simply pouring her heart and soul into Dovid and his future.”
And indeed, that’s what it looked like she was doing. She was staring directly at her dear son, as he was about to transform his life, his status and his future. She appeared to be pouring every last bit of learning into him, reminding him without words of her love, of her faith in him, of her undying belief in the beautiful future he was starting. It was a breathtaking – absolutely breathtaking – scene that showed two people who were so present – so connected without having to verbally connect – so “in the moment” that everything else appeared to evaporate around them.
As a mother who has so much to learn from the mothers-of-boys leading the way, it was a stunning moment of faith, of pure love and of unbridled joy. May this be the beginning of a beautiful life for the bride and groom, and may their parents continue to inspire and teach me along the way.