Dreams do come true. And it is so lovely to see when it occurs – whether they come true for us or for those we love.
There are so many areas in life where we see that things are not always fair – or equal. And this theme has occurred over and over again in my life as I have watched my friends go through their child bearing years.
One of my oldest friends has struggled for years to have a baby. She has a healthy 9 year old. Then she miscarried. Then she became pregnant, to her and her husband’s great joy. Around the 20 week mark, they were informed that the developing baby had a diaphragmatic hernia and would have a 30% chance of long term survival. But they could hear the heartbeat already, and she felt the baby kicking. She couldn’t give it up.
And so, they valiantly continued the pregnancy, gave birth to the baby, and watched her fight. And baby “T” fought like a champion, through a surgery and many procedures. And she appeared to be doing well..until she wasn’t. She died in their arms the day before my 5th son was born. They went on to try to conceive again and had a very difficult time doing so. Finally, with the help of medical intervention, she conceived twins. They were ecstatic until she lost one at 10 weeks and had to deliver the other around 18 weeks.
As I’ve moved through my childbearing years, it has been very difficult to watch my friends struggle in this way. Why does one woman have such an easy time getting pregnant and keeping a baby, while another struggles and struggles and struggles? Why are some women made to look with hungry, painful eyes at the rounding stomach of a neighbor?
These questions are as old as our history; as old as Rachel Emanu crying before Hashem to become fertile. As old as Sara Emanu, who had given up hope of ever having a child, when Hashem told her that she would finally conceive in old age.
On Wednesday, I opened my Facebook to find a message. It was a picture of a beautiful boy. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I sent my friend a message, begging her to tell me what I thought I knew. And yes, she was, indeed, letting me know that they were finally, finally being given the chance to love a baby again. They had adopted a beautiful child who needed a family as much as they wanted a baby.
And with tears streaming down my face, I thanked Hashem for righting this situation and for allowing this family-hungry couple and their beautiful daughter to finally welcome another member into their family.
Sometimes the world helps people to fulfill their dreams. It may not always be the story that we intended to tell, or the way that we thought we would tell it. But it ends happily, nonetheless.
Welcome to your new family, baby. Boy, are you in for a lot of loving! May the rest of my friends still struggling with these issues find their dreams coming true in the near future and may their stories unfold to happy endings.
So glad that Hashem opened their hearts to realize that a child need not be your own flesh and blood to be part of your family and to be loved.