I feel like I’m mobilizing an army. I’ve got a spreadsheet a mile long with each of their positions, wardrobe changes, carpool plans and more. I’ve got phone number lists up around the house, “Feed the Fish!” reminder signs, packed bags and frozen food.
|Here I am getting ready…|
And it’s almost game time.
And I think I have an inkling of how those professional sports players must feel before the big game, or how the army boys must feel before their first jump. Just hoping to hold it all together and make it to the launch. And then hoping that all goes as planned.
I’m heading out tonight to New York to meet Josh for a few desperately needed days of relaxation. And then I’m going to Los Angeles to enjoy a few days with my family and to give my 93 year old Nana a kiss; I might even play a kicking game of Rummy Cube against her before turning around and coming home.
All of this sounds run of the mill if you’re a seasoned traveler, or if you’re single, or if you’re leaving the other half at home. But I’m meeting Josh in New York, and leaving the six guys at home….for a week.
Add to that my desperate, debilitating fear of flying and you’ve got yourself one anxious mom today.
So, if I’m so anxious and nervous, why am I going? Now there is a good question. When the opportunity for the trip arose, I was tempted, as I always am, to stay put. Too much worry. Too much to do. Too much planning. Too much fear. It’s so much easier to stay put, wherever you are, and just keep doing what you’re doing.
But in the last few years, I’ve been trying to learn some lessons about seizing opportunities and doing things that might seem scary, but worthwhile. Watching what Stella went through and seeing others who are struggling in so many ways have offered me a perspective on life.
Someone recently posted an interesting video on Facebook looking at what people would do if they had only a year to live. And while we all think that we are invincible, it’s amazing how quickly life can turn on a dime, and how much we can potentially regret. The responses that people gave on the video were mostly about travel, adventure, excitement. And yet, most of us who responded to the Facebook post wrote that we really crave hugs, staying home with family, and enjoying the little things in life.
I think most of us would like both. We want a stable home environment, kids to cling to and hug, a calm every-day life. But it’s also great to have those adventures when they are possible, and to see family that is far away and dearly missed.
And so, I’m taking the opportunity, through the blinding fear, and pushing myself forward. I think it’s also important for the kids to see that Mommys and Daddys need time by themselves and time to enjoy together. I saw a friend this morning who said, “Didn’t you get the memo. You aren’t allowed to leave the kids for at least another ten years. Six boys at home? Wow!” And while that did make me feel like I’m a bit crazy for doing this, we adults really do need to leave the kids sometimes to recharge our battery and to make those return hugs even that much more sweet.
Eliav, at dinner the other night, said something so cute. He’s my most perceptive child and the one who really seems to “get” just how much Mommy does. We have a married highly-competent babysitter, Chani, who is coming to stay in our house with the kids. And Eliav said, “Wow Mommy. I bet within a few hours of Chani being here she’s going to be shaking her head and saying ‘How does Romi do it? How does Romi do it?’”
And I guess if I can run a house like mine, juggle work and everything else that life brings, I can work through my fear of travel and my fear of leaving the kids.
And adventure awaits.
So, if you happen to see my kids in the next week, give them a smile and a wink and tell them that Mommy and Daddy will be back soon.
With Purim costumes.